Don't go out and make a fool out of yourself.....

Tonight is a night to have fun on the last night of the year.    Go and injoy.   Just rememeber.....Most of us are not professional fun makers.    We go out once in a blue moon to drink and have fun.     So dont' go out with the mindset to go over the top.    Iv'e been on that side of the ride or the ticket.    It's not a golden ticket.   It's a black as the bottom of the Black River ticket.    You don't even come back sometimes from a ride like that.    Have fun.    Just don't be a novice drinker or an amateur.    Amateurs end out in jail, or under  the dirt.    You have limits on any other night that you set.   Stick to them and Sunday will be a true NEW YEAR.  

                                                 O ya......Lock the door when in the bathroom....

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I can't eat will driving?

Now the United Sates of America want to take away another right.    The right to eat when you are hungry.    Because it may cause an car crash (bull shit) you will be asked to not eat while driving.    I mean really, no eating?    Why not just have a cop come over to the car when you get in and tie a rope around you?    Maybe a three point racing belt.    I mean really...... Most of these new cars have enough aribags in them to make sure they float on lakes.    Where does the safe driving laws end?    If the government keeps getting their way you will soon find them driving your car and you will be in the back seat in a rubber cage.    Or foam to protect your head.   For sure you will need head-gear.    Is every life so special that we all need to live till we are old and gray?    Do we all just live to be 90 and sit in rocking chairs out front?    Can I just have a burger and maybe drive a little fast?    All I ask for.

Okay maybe add some fun to the picture too...... The jet is cool.....

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Go the hell away Russell...

Katy Perry is throwing the dumb-ass to the side.    Her and Russell are over.    I for one can't wait to see what she does now.    Russell is a okay B-movie star.    Never was A-list enough to be with Kath in my book.     I hope she goes back to Elmo.    Poor little red shit has been shooting up cup-cakes for months since they threw her off the street.    I also heard he sings Elmo's got a gun.    That can't be good.

Russle was never worthy of even being ten feet near Kathy Perry.    Omg she's free at last.....

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World's biggest Boobs....

This lady (Norma Stitz) hold the record according to the net for the biggest boobs......Well I'd say...YUP.

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Hottie of the year......

In my book Jessica Biel ranks as the hottie of the year...... Dare to tell me different...

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Summer meat......

The good people at Hickory Farms spent the summer making Summer Sausage just for me.    I always go out into the stores after Christmas and buy the left over deals.    Omg I ate some cheeze and sausage today.   Even the crackers with the spice covered mustard tastes so good.    Funny what $6 will do for the sole.

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Jesus toast bother you?

I'd be so happy to see Jesus on my toast.    Many see it as a sign.    Many see it as a bad sign.   I wait for the day that Jesus will pop out of the toaster.    I will cheer and thank him for coming.    Would I eat it?   That's a good question only to be answered when it happens.    We made the cross out of Milky-Ways for Sunday school as teens (my cus. and me).    Put a little Jesus doll on them.    Man they were cool.    We took them home after eating the candy on the ride home.    Then we put Jesus on our Hotwheels.    Man I think he injoyed it...... I hope.   My Aunt got so pissed we got to read the Bible for the afternoon.  

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Fracking freek fish......

This thing was some kind of eel form the sea.     Holy cow it's a monster.    When the poor sailers went missing and made up storys about creatures from the sea..... Well hell isn't it all true?

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Nope this isn't an alien....

It's a type of monster shrimp from some place in Asia.    Fracking thing will eat you with sauce.   Get the butter and a baseball bat to stop this big boy.    Fracking thing ate my hand....man...

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Yes our doctors can be messed up....

This is a Chinese med. shop.    Tell me what any off this stuff is.    They kill bears and make their organs into cures.    They use the jells from inside thier poop-shoots.    No fracking way am I going over to the local shop to get bear crap for that burn on my hand.   

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See the difference?

 Dumb hippy who will never amount to anything in this life........

                                                     Big boobed blond hotti who if she wanted to could run the office....

Which one you want over for New Years?

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Well we got it....

We got some snow.    We got some ice.    We (I mean most of you) didn't have our cars ready.   We (agian most of you) crashed our cars.    Went off the road.   Bitched about the roads being bad.    I drove right through it with my nice new tires.    My brakes worked great (good clean and new).    My oil was clean.   Car started right up.    Makes for a nice day.   

Now today...... The shops open..... Give a call and we will get you up to speed on this winter thing.

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Girls kissing girls...

Just in...... More young girls are making out with other young girls then ever in our country's history.    They have nothing to do with guys.   They are not getting knocked up.    The numbers for being knocked up and young have crashed.    Several have said that later in life they will be switch hitters.    Maybe all the after school specials just didn't know how to put together an answer?    Kath knew the answer..... She kissed a girl and liked it.   

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Get one of these....

Instead of hurting young men or girls who can't say yes or no...... Get Mr. Potato Head and play all day.   It has holes too.    Get some lube.    Better then going to jail.    Just do it at home..... Because the parks are not the place for this kind of thing.   See you have to tell everyone how it works.   

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GET A FRACKING DOLL!

Just read about some freek ( won't say who or where) having sex with two young men who let's just say have no minds.    He's 68 years old.    Looks like a fracking monster from the swamp.   No hair.   Big pointy ears.   Big large blister on his face.    Man no one but a blind dog could love the dude.     All he needed was a nice rubber doll and some lube.    Get a clue you son of a bitch..... That shit was sick.

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Mexico has such bad things living there....

Now they are finding aliens in their traps.    If they made this thing....well they did a great job.     It looks like what I think of as an alien caught in a trap in Mexico.    The world is going to hell when a trapper finds these things instead of a nice rabbit.

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Feeling better today.....

Iv'e been able to keep a piece of bread down.    So I will try to go and injoy work.    I slept okay.    Ready to try and survive the day.    For all you State workers taking another free day....well sit on it.

I'm so messed up today that some how I clicked on Hitler and the hot chick.....O well Hitler wanted to say hi too.    I was going to post that ....Maybe this chick will come in and buy a Jeep today....Maybe Hitler will too..... Who knows.

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Omg I'm sick.....

I couldn't even show you a pic. of myself.     I'm that fracking gone.     I Pooped and shot out some kind of real smelling stuff from my tum-tum all morn.     I couldn't eat all day.    I kep't down a couple of drinks.   I can't keep awake for shit.     I'm in a bad way.    Sleep......Might help.

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Going out to the countryside....

Santa's ride is ready at the North Pole to dump off all the good boys and girls some cheer.   I'm going to bring some to my Dad and Mom.    Hope it helps them ride for another year.    Merry Christmas to all.    Man it's a nice day out there to travel.   

Celebrate it the way it was ment to be.    A cute blond, a bottle of whiskey, and a nice trailer.

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Go out and about today.....

The Xmas Devil want's you to lay on the floor and rest today with your pillows and blankets.    I want you to go out and feel the joy that's called Christmas.    Go get the lights you kep't saying you were going to put up.   Put them up.   Light them.   Go to the stores and get some horns for the party tonight.    Get some geese a laying.    Have a friend over you haven't seen in years.    Have a small drink of cheer....O hell ....over do it.    Chrsitmas is on a Sunday....sleep in.            Just don't hear the call from the Devil to do nothing.    Do it....get up...run....

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O by the way....

How in the hell did she do this?     Someone find out before the meds no longer work.   Please.

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Hw sees you when your sleeping...

My dog told me last night that he knows when you all out there are touching yourselfs in a wrong way.   Stop it or he will have to turn you into the big man in red.    Don't make the bad list.

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Don't forget this man during Xmas.....

He didn't forget you.    He's still looking for his replacement.    The golden child might be you.

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Don't forget to get stocking stuffers....

Mike's family are counting on you to get some C.D.s for your stockings today.   Don't forget they need millons.    Blanket needs another car.    Tito needs a new home.    Gram-Gram needs some new underware that they only make on in Bell-Air.      Give till it hurts.    Yeeeeee!

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She still hates you....

Because you said she was fat...... Get the Christmas spirit and tell her she's chunky....please.

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Frosty is going to jail....

Frosty was caught this week and will now stand trial for hurting young Wendy.     He just kep't saying it was his Birthday.   Sick fracking snowmen.    He might get the death sentence.....Which for him is easy....Take away the hat.

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Santa won't be bringing them.....

Iv'e been so bad this year that Santa won't be bringing me twin sex robots for Christmas day.    Darn...I had plans for them.    I will try for next year.

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Our you okay with the green?

We might for once in a long time not see this on Christmas day.    You okay with it?   I got to say I am.   It just seems like twice the work to deal with snow and going out to a person's home to eat.    All for it.

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We still have lunch for today...

This was the pile of meat we had ready for cooking on Thursday......Most of it is ready for today's lunch.    Plus all the pasta and the rest that we just couldn't eat.    Cookies are still holding in there.

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Come on open it up....

Time to get the Watertown caves open.     Get the gate.   Get the team back in and get it ready.    I want to paint some modern day cave paintings.    I want to sit in there and have a nice camp fire.    Maybe drag some cave babes up in there and see if they would like to stay in there with me.   

I heard that when they first opened it up that the Mayor found this chick...... Give the rest of us a chance Jeff.

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I want this show back on the air....

Space 1999 was such a great show.    I want it back.    For all that are not geeks.     On the moon in the year 1999.    Moon base.    Nuke waste pile on the other end of the moon.    Pile goes off.   Moon pulls away from Earth.    Moon base crew can't make it to Earth in time.     Several really good shows about what they see and run into out in deep space.     Nice.   

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Don't talk to strangers....

First....don't look at him,   run away,   and yell.......Stranger Danger!

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I'd buy that for a buck....

Were do you think this guy ended out?    Robo Cops buck guy.    He must be someplace.

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No more cookies....

It's lunch time and I have ate way to many of these nice fracking Christmas cookies.....No more Please!

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Lunch time and Melinda....

Is at the grill cooking up some real goodness.    Hamburgers, Hotdogs, Brats, and O so more.    It's our one day a year when we show up and cook a bunch of food for Jesus.    Thank you lord.

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Forgot.....

                                                      Happy CHANUKAH!

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Don't forget my Buddy at Christmas....

He's at the rest home accross town waiting for someone to stop by and drop off some cheer...Idi Amin Dada is still alive and well living in Watertown NY.    Christmas is his fav. time for cookies and cake.   Still a happy old man.    Maybe stop by and have a cookout with him.  

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Happy fracking Holidays....

Okay this is a ad filled with what the Holidays should be....Wings, Football, Santa hats, Hot Girls in Kilts.

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Last God dam one.....

                                                  TODAY!       Omg....am I happy....

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My fav Sand-Person......

                                        Makes me weak.....

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Don't buy oil from that man?

El-President wants our country and many more not to buy oil from Iran.     Okay sounds good.   Sounds good till you go to the pump and find the increase it caused.    O...no they say.    We will work a deal so everyone can be happy.    Yes.....every oil company in the world will be happy.    I say let Iran go spin in the fracking wind.    Still you need a solid plan in place before pulling away from cheap oil.    Then you have to have the big country of China away from the pipe line too.    Because they love cheap oil.    Same with Russia.    I hope they can make it work.    It would be great to see Iran throwing their moron leaders onto ropes.    Because they ARE POOR SANDPEOPLE.

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Dead for a day.....

He was dead for a few hours on Monday and he said the afterlife looks a lot like Jersy....very funny.

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When you have money in the bank....

                                                 It's easy to look happy even at the police station.

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Watertown NY girl makes it big....

Amy Elizabeth from Watertown NY is a big model.     No saying she isn't super hot.    Glad to see another very nice girl get fame.    Hope she continues to be a shooting star.    O ya she's fracking hot.

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Mom's selling phone sex....

Moms around the country have been working the phone sex lines for years to help Santa get some stuff under the tree.    Iv'e never called one.    But for all that do..... O never mind .....I won't ruin it for you.   All the girls on the line are hot 20 year old sluts.

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Put Golden Member in charge....

Real easy......North Korea needs a leader and this dude needs a place to serve waffles and a smoke.   

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Today's holy cow...

This is just a holy cow why do they get that fracking big?    Who could handle them?

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All three in one....

Camera slash mirror pic,   Holy fracking cow,   And a good time for someone.

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Hulk MAD!

Think of the poor Hulk having to look at this every day of his life and not being able to just swing down a back breaking hit to her.   Must drive him crazy.    I'd find some way to have a cage match of death...Pay per view.....so I could get some of the money back.    In this courner....Hulk Hogan....And in this courner...The back stabbing bitch who took his money..... Dam her!

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Over 4 millon....

It will cost over 4 millon for the President and wife to go and injoy a rest.     Yes we have more invested into some weapon systems that the guys carry in a pack.    But....man.....that much for a few weeks of golf and food.    I bet 4 millon would buy a nice golf course her in the states with change in his pocket.    See that's what get's me.    Change never came.    It's the same old same old.    Tax and spend it.    It must be spent.   That's the excuse.    If It isn't spent on this.....It's spent on that.    NO!   Go back to something we used to do in this great nation.....Save some for a rainy day.    This ..... O the job brings so much stess crap.....Well you knew it going in.    If you can't stand it..... Don't try for another 4 years.    Take a nice rest.    Go back to Congress.....They loved you there.    I only would love it if he ever heard the everyday person's advice.   But I believe it's like trying to talk to a alien on the next planet with life.    He's a long ways away from the rest of us.     It really is sad.    So much hope.

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Up close and laughing....

Man Iv'e told this story before (it's all true).    When I worked 20 years ago at another garage (Parkview) we used to stay late every Thursday and work on our cars.    Drink (okay pound) a bunch of beer.    Just have fun under the hood and under the cars.    In other words passed out under them trying to look cool.   Well one night...... I heard a knock on the front garage door.    It was well after 9pm.   So being real drunk we decided it wasn't smart to let in anyone who might not understand what was under foot.    I looked out the peek hole for dropping keys and told the person we were closed.    The person told me to open the door.    I said sorry sir but we are closed.    Again......Open the door right now.    I looked through the small lower window by my legs because something was hitting the glass.    I pictured in my beer socked mind a small man jumping and hitting the glass.    So I opened the peek hole again and told the midget to go home.    Go home midget I yelled.    So the person went away.

The next day...... The boss explained how a police officer with a dog was told to leave and was refused entry.     The midget who talked to me was the dog.    I never saw the police man.    He told the boss we might have been smoking drugs (not true).     What he didn't see was me hitting the glass in front of his dog telling him to go back to the land of Oz.    O my...... my bad.

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